So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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