Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
