If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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