sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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