If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
