I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
