In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
