My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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