The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
