my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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