Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
