It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
