planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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