Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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