so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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