I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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