Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Shame is for Republicans.
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