I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
