I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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