every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
