Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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