hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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