Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize