remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
