Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
