he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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