Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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