You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
