I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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