He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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