it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she looked like the before picture.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
