She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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