That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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