ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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