how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
