I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
did you just send me my own nude
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
