i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
