yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
