You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Randomize
