After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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