How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
