covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
