I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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