Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize