Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
