a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
