I will die if light touches me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Come on in and take your pants off
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