Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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