I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
