we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
