my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Panties = found
Randomize
