brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
