Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
