i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
