Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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