Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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