It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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