We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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