I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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