Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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