bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
