please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
