She is in my trunk
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
