so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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