Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
