me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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