That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
