Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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