Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
