looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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