also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
