Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
