I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
