I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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